The Radioathon is Here!

There has been MUCH more drama in our home since our return from the hospital, but I'll save that for another post. For now, I wanted to let you all know that the radioathon benefitting CHKD, our local Children's Hospital, begins tomorrow and goes through Friday. This is exciting for us because Emma is one of this year's eight "featured kids" and the approximately 30-minute-long version of her story I recorded at the station back in August will be aired during this time. The link with more information about the radioathon can be found here and you can click on "Meet this year's Kids" to see Emma's picture. The radioathon can be heard live online here from 5:30AM Dec 10th - 5:00PM Dec 12th. With any luck, you may just tune in as Emma's story is being broadcast!

Thank God Almighty, Free At Last

We're HOME! Here's the rest of the story...

After the samples of Emma's ooze were taken, we basically killed Saturday, Sunday, and Monday at the hospital waiting for lab results. To say that Emma was antsy and I was bored and frustrated is an understatement. Each morning, the surgeon would come into our room, look at Emma's incision and say, "Right now I don't think surgery is necessary, but let's give it 1 more day." Three days later, I was ready to throw something at him. HE should try keeping an almost-2-year-old entertained in a room the size of a closet she's not allowed to leave while tethered to an IV pole. NOT fun...for Emma or mommy or daddy.

FINALLY this morning around 6:30, a resident came back in and said that the lab results were in and the bacteria was one that could be treated with oral antibiotics at home. They took Emma off of "contact" precautions (meaning we were now free to roam about the 7th floor and play in the playroom) and promised to discharge her as soon as the surgeon who actually performed her surgery looked at her incision one last time. A few hours later, after Emma joyfully tore apart the playroom, we were told that Dr. Mahaffey was stuck in a surgery that was becoming more "complicated" than originally thought and would be at least 4 more hours. Rather than make us wait 4 hours for a two-second "Looks good!" from him, he gave the resident permission to discharge Emma herself. What a nice man.

So at noon, Emma and I busted out. We joyfully fled the building, hopefully for good. Hopefully...

One good sign - as soon as we got into the car, Emma said to me, "Fries mommy. Chicken nuggets." Five minutes before we pulled into our driveway, she said, "Apples. Ice cream."

It's nice to have my baby back.

The Saga Continues

Hello everyone! Just wanted to post another update on the past few eventful days in Lovelace-land and once again ask for your prayers. The day we brought Emma home from surgery, she was groggy and tired off and on, just as they said she would be. We let her eat whatever she wanted to and watched some cartoons with her before putting her to bed for the night. Wednesday - Emma wakes up VERY congested with a draining nose. She's in a terrible mood all day long and has a temperature ranging form 100-102 off and on. We think two things: a) they said a fever for a few days after anesthesia is normal, and b) she's had a cold coming on for weeks now. Surgery must have brought it out. Not a big deal. She's miserable most of the day. That night, a follow-up nurse from the hospital calls to see how Emmma's doing. We tell her and she hears that Emma's temperature has been as high as 102, she says, "101.5 is about as high as we're comfortable with post-surgery. You might want to give the on-call surgon a call, just to be safe." We do. She says, in a nutshell, "It's probably her virus. Your options are to bring her to the ER or to watch and see how she feels tomorrow." (Thanksgiving) We decide to wait and see. Thursday morning comes around, Emma wakes up with a normal temp, but it begins to climb as the day continues. Finally, around 11AM, I convince my husband (who is at this point highly annoyed with his paranoid wife) to agree to the ER, just for my own peace of mind. I wanted to enjoy our Thanksgiving dinner in peace. We take Emma to the ER Thursday morning and it was essentially unhelpful. A surgical resident examines her and essentially says that it seems OK to him, but since the incision still has the bandage on it from surgery, he couldn't tell for sure. He advises us to call the surgery clinic for an appointment on Monday morning. We head home. At this point, it's 2PM and Chris is miserably sick (has been for over 24 hours) and Emma is exhausted. We opt out of Thanksgiving dinner with Chris' co-workers and decide to let Emma nap as long as she'd like. We spent the rest of Thanksgiving in our PJs on the couch while I continue to worry feel like something is not quite right. Not the most memorable holiday ever. Friday rolls around and Emma's fever is still in the mid-101s. We also notice that her wound is slowly oozing, leaving small stains on her onesies. The day continues and although she seems much happier than she has for the past few days, the fever-that-just-won't-quit is still concerning me. Later that afternoon, I beg Chris to call the on-call surgeon again. Maybe they could at least put Emma on some antibiotics just in case an infection really IS brewing. He does and rolls his eyes 80% of the time he's on the phone. When he gets off and I look at him with question marks in my eyes, Chris tells me the surgeon wants us to return to the ER so they can admit Emma to the hospital overnight. "What!?" you might be thinking. That's what I thought too. But apparently the surgeon says that if we're worried enough to have taken her to the ER already and called multiple times, it might be worth taking a closer look. "What about the antibiotics?" I ask. Chris says, "He doesn't feel comfortable with that." So all of the wind comes out of our sails as we pack for yet another hospital stay. Our hope was that they would admit Emma, look at her wound, tell us she was fine and we could go home. No such luck. We are admitted to the ER and instantly put into a room. Another surgical resident looks at Emma's incision (which is still covered by the bandage) and says, "It looks just a HINT redder than "stone-cold normal" to me. Let's admit her and get an IV going. Again, Chris and I say, "WHAT?! Is this really necessary?" Yes, she says. "The kind of antibiotic we want to give her can only be given via IV." Our poor sweet girl. She endures this procedure yet-again with grace and less tears than we were expecting, but Chris and I are weary of the whole hospital scene. We are checked into a room and since only 1 parent is allowed to stay overnight, Chris leaves around midnight wihle I do my best to get Emma to sleep in this new crazy not-my-home-or-my-bed environment. Yesterday (Saturday) the same resident came into our room at 7:15 to look at Emma's wound and declared it looked much less red (which it did). Around 10:30, the on-call surgeon whom we had spoken with finally came by. He looked at Emma's skin again as we tried to distract her with toys. He took the bandage off and finally looked at the incision itself. He looks up and says to me, "Well, it's infected." I had to fight the urge not to stand on the chair in Emma's room and say things like, "Ha! I TOLD you so! I'm not just a paranoid mom who's trying to make your life difficult! I KNEW something was wrong!" and things like that. But I didn't. I calmly said, "Well, I wasn't trying to pester you. I just didn't feel right about it and I've learned enough about my parental instincts from Emma's history to know that I should follow them." He said, "You guys did the right thing. Calling multiple times and bringing her in..." Although I was NOT happy to hear that Emma had an infection brewing, I felt vindicated. He put her on a stronger more all-inclusive antibiotic and told us that they would be taking a culture of the ooze to see exactly what kind of bacteria was there in order to better target it with antibiotics. It's now Sunday morning and we are still at the hospital without any more information. Emma was happy all day long, but is not eating or drinking well. Chris let me spend the night at home last night so I thought I'd update the blog to ONCE AGAIN ask for prayers for Emma's healing. Only about 20% of kids with G tubes need to have them closed surgically. After surgery, Chris and I were told it is very rare for an infection to develop after this particular procedure. Once again, we are in the minority on all counts, which is very frustrating. We are praying that God would heal Emma's incision by allowing it to respond to antibiotics. If it does not, they will have to put her under again, re-open the wound and clean it out. I can barely stand the thought of doing this all over again. PLEASE pray with us. I'll keep everyone updated. Thank you so much! I'm off to Starbucks and then the hospital!

A Great Success

We're home from the hospital and are happy to report that Emma's surgery was a total success! We arrived on time, checked in and let Emma enjoy the toy wonderland that is the day surgery waiting room. A nurse in triage took Emma's vitals, we met with the anesthesiologist and surgery nurse and Emma continued to enjoy toy wonderland until the surgeon came out to introduce himself and look at her incision. We liked Dr. Mahaffey right away; he seemed very kind and caring and we felt as though he viewed Emma as a person, not just a body to be operated on. He looked at her G tube site, told us what he would do to "clean it up," and asked if we had any other questions. About ten minutes later, a nurse walked the 3 of us back into the surgery hallway and took Emma away. That's always the hardest part for me, turning her over to someone else knowing that she has no idea what's coming. This time was particularly difficult as Emma starting screaming and crying immediately and I got a little teary as we walked away. The surgery was estimated to last about 45 minutes, so Chris and I ordered lunch in the cafeteria and returned to the waiting room immediately to eat. Around noon, Dr. Mahaffey came out with a smile and told us everything went very well. He gave us a few great tips on how to make the scar as "pretty" as possible for her in the future and we chatted about ECMO for a bit. Turns out, he's quite experienced with ECMO and told us that he actually started the ECMO program at Duke University, the busiest ECMO center in the country. He reiterated that meconium kids do the very best on ECMO, but still said that it was wonderful to see a survivor who is doing so well. He also has two daughters and told Chris how much he enjoyed having girls. About 5 minutes later, we were called back to the recovery area to hold Emma as she was waking up. Just like she did with her G tube surgery, she moaned and cried for quite a while. It was sad. Eventually, she setttled and began asking for crackers and apple juice, so we were sent to the stepdown unit until she was "with it" enough to go home. Chris held her while I picked up some coffee, read an article about Brangelina, and waited for her prescription to be filled. When I returned, the nurse removed Emma's IV, returned her clothing to us, and told us we were free to leave. We left the hospital around 2:30, so thankful not only that Emma's surgery is over with, but also that we feel as though we have finally closed the "ECMO/NICU/feeding tube" chapter of her life for good. We are praising God for his goodness and faithfulness and mercy and celebrating the fact that He is indeed a God who keeps His promises. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

Emma's Surgery

Happy Monday morning! We just wanted to again ask those of you who might happen to read this today to pray for Emma's surgery tomorrow. The hospital called this morning to tell us her surgery is scheduled for 11:15AM. We are to be at the hospital just after 9AM and can expect to be there until about 2:30 or so. The surgery itself is only an hour from start to finish, including anasthesia, but there's the customary meeting with the anasthesiologist beforehand as well as follow-up procedures to review afterwards.

Please pray that her surgery will be safe, effective, and free from any difficulties or complications. We are so thrilled to finally close the final chapter tying us to Emma's challenging start! She is doing so well - growing, talking, laughing, playing, eating, and bringing us more and more joy on a daily basis. Thanks for all your love and support!

A tick just changed my life

I just had a life-changing moment. No kidding. My husband is out of town until Friday, but I found a tick on our dog after dinner tonight. Now a tick on your dog is always a horrible discovery, but finding a tick on your dog when your husband is out of town is infinitely worse. Infinitely.

Panic. What do I do? Where's Chris? Oh noooooooo! Quick. Call Gail. She'll know what to do. Gail's response, "Ooooh. Gross. I don't know. Sorry. Good luck." Something like that. Darn. She didn't even offer to send HER husband over to deal with it and left me here all alone with a tick-infested dog in my house and germs and diseases running rampant and...OK Jen. Settle down.

I know! I'll call the vet! HE'LL have to deal with it tomorrow! I call the vet and leave a message. Done. Problem solved. HE can take it out. Good night Oslo.

OK no. This thing really should come out. Emma? Not a feasible solution. But I'm pregnant. What if I get a disease? That's what gloves are for Jen. (I really am having this coversation with myself. You think I'm kidding. I'm not.)

I return to our couch and stare at Oslo with intense dislike, WILLING the tick to come out and leave our home immediately. It's not working.

I do some research online. I find this: http://www.instructables.com/id/How-to-remove-a-tick/ I think, "How absurd. I'm NOT doing this." I continue to stare at my dog who is wondering why I keep shooting him dirty looks.

An hour passes and I begin to imagine Oslo dying a slow and painful death from paralysis or lyme disease or some other transmitted-by-tick disease while I sleep peacefully in my bed tonight. And I decide that I couldn't live with myself if I killed my own dog, so I sigh, throw on a pair of orange cleaning gloves, pray for the safety of our unborn child, and decide to give this slightly insane-sounding online tick-removal method a try.

My stomach churned. I had to keep stopping and giving myself pep talks. Oslo wanted to wiggle. The tick was stubborn, but I prevailed AND (drumroll please)...it came OUT!!! All by itself, just as the website promises it will if you give its slightly insane-sounding tick-removal method a try.

After the tick fell onto our carpeted floor, I responded by immediately shoving Oslo out of the way and jumping back about ten feet to search for its whereabouts. No luck. I (harshly) banish Oslo to his bed, pull out the vaccum, and proceed to vaccum my entire family room three times. Overkill? I think not. Have you ever had a tick loose in YOUR house?

It was only after returning our vaccum to its rightful spot in the front hallway closet and staring at my dog (with only slightly less nausea) that I realized what I'd done. I removed a tick. From my dog. On my own. Without Chris, Gail (or her husband), the vet, or the medical team of experts I'd tried to conjure into existence in my living room. Me. I did it. I am woman. Hear me roar.

Who knew one little tick could have such a life-changing impact on one's self-esteem?

A tick-free but slightly confused Oslo just before receiving permission to vacate his bed

Prayers for Emma

Just wanted to let you all that Emma's G tube site has not closed properly and is still leaking. I contacted the surgery clinic today and they've scheduled her for surgery to close it on November 25th. We're really disappointed that the site did not close on its own and that she has to go through anasthesia again, but thankfully, the surgery is a simple and quick outpatient procedure. If you all who pray will please keep Emma in your prayers on November 25th, we would be very grateful. Please pray for a smooth and effective surgery with no complications, side-effects, or infections. Thanks so much!

A new addition

Hello all! I know for some of you this may be news and for others, it may not be, but Chris and I are expecting baby #2 at the end of March and found out tonight that it's another girl! We are a bit shocked (just like with Emma, I could have sworn it was going to be a boy), but thankful for a healthy-looking baby. I might need a few days to get used to the idea and adjust my mental picture of our family to include two girls, but I love the idea of Emma having a sister so close in age. We hope they'll grow to be good friends.

Love to you and yours from ours - all FOUR of us!

Fall and Halloween Fun

We've had a really fun week, enjoying the cooler temperatures of fall as well as taking our little muchkin pumpkin picking and trick-or-treating. Enjoy!

Hanging out with the turkey at Hunt Club Farm

Picking out the perfect pumpkin...

Found it! She was SO proud of herself!

Showing some love to the biggest pumpkin.

Pumpkin-carving party with the Tabors.

The finished products!

Happy kiddos-Emma, Isabel and Michael Tabor

Our little ladybug gets ready to trick-or-treat

Trick-or-treating with Michael and Isabel

Emma "helping" mommy and daddy pass out candy

It Is Finished

I hardly know what to say. I've dreamed about writing this post for so long, and yet now that the time has arrived, it just doesn't seem real. But it is real, and we have some exciting news to share.

Emma did it! On Thursday, October 30th, Emma's G tube was taken out. Forever. For good. Never to be used again.

We have an eater, ladies and gentlemen! Over the last 5-6 months, Emma has proven herself to be a competent eater. She's managed to overcome all her previous eating challenges and meet all her weight gain requirements, all while chewing and drinking and swallowing safely. To say we are thrilled is an understatement. We are thrilled, elated, escatic, overjoyed and so PROUD of our big girl (and of ourselves - we made it!)

The events leading up to Emma's tube removal happened very quickly. A few weeks ago, I did the math to figure out what the feeding clinic would consider an acceptable weight gain at our November 19th appointment. The math told me they would be pleased if Emma weighed between 20 pounds and 20 pounds, 4 oz. But when Emma was weighed at her Synagis appointment at the Navy Hospital on October 23rd, I was SHOCKED to find out that she already was 20 lbs, 4 oz. As I began to think about it, I realized that I wanted to be sure that we had plenty of time between the removal of Emma's tube and our move back to Anacortes (in case any problems should creep up), so I called the feeding clinic to report Emma's weight and ask if we could move our appointment up. To my surprise, Elaine (our nurse practitioner) said she could squeeze Emma in for a weight check on October 29th. I called the surgery department at the hospital (where they actually remove the G tube) and they said they could see Emma on the 30th. I spent the rest of the morning on the phone with her pediatrician's office getting the referrals we needed for these appointments, and on Wednesday, Emma had her last appointment with the feeding clinic. Elaine was quite pleased with her weight gain and we left her office with the long-awaited letter giving her authorization for the removal of Emma's tube. When I took Emma to the surgery clinic the following morning, I assumed it would merely be for a new patient intake appointment and that we would schedule the removal of her G tube for a later date. Imagine my surprise when the nurse practitioner, after reading Elaine's letter, said, "Well, let's take it out." I said, "Today? Right now?" She said, "Don't you want it to come out?" to which I responded, "Yes! I just didn't think it would happen today." The nurse practitioner laid Emma on the exam table, pulled the water from the balloon inside her tube, and in about 3 seconds, it was out for good. She said, "Do you want to do the honors?" and handed me the tube. I gleefully spiked it into the garbage can for the last time. It was great.

We do have a very specific prayer request over the next two weeks. I was told that the clinic allows two full weeks for the wound to close up on its own. If, after two weeks, the wound is still leaking fluid, it will have to be closed surgically. Surgery. With anaesthesia and all. Although they said this only happens about 20% of the time, it is our very great hope that Emma's incision will heal on its own. I hate the thought of putting her through surgery again and anaesthesia makes me nervous. Please pray that Emma's incision closes quickly and safely so that surgery would not be necessary. Each time we change her dressing, the site appears to be leaking less and less, but we are eager for it to close for good before it creates problems for her skin.

Thank you for all of your prayers for Emma and for Chris and I over the past 20 months on the feeding issues roller coaster. We are so proud of all that Emma has accomplished. It hit me the other day that there is now nothing distinguishing Emma from any other 20-month-old. The G tube was the last reminder of her harrowing beginning and we are so thrilled to be able to say..."It is finished."

We love CHKD!

On Saturday, October 25th, Emma and mommy went to an open house for Children's Hospital of the King's Daughters (CHKD) in Virginia Beach. Although the hospital itself is located in Norfolk, a beautiful new clinic opened in Virginia Beach and Carrie and Angie, Emma's angelic feeding therapists, invited us to come. Although I thought we'd just show up, say hello and leave, the open house turned out to be quite an event with live entertainment, a snack tent, petting zoo, free car seat checks, raffles and prizes, balloons, and a tour of the entire facility for those who were interested. So we stayed for awhile. Emma had a great time visiting her therapists, playing on the toys in the physical therapy area, meeting the golden retriever used for "pet therapy," watching the dancers on stage, enjoying some free snacks, and just generally walking around like she owned the place.

Another VERY important reason I wanted to attend the open house was because Emma is a model. It's true! After we finished our 30-second TV spot at CHKD's telethon in June, Joy, the PR director, asked us if we would consent to allowing Emma to be photographed for artwork to put up in the new clinic. Of course we agreed, and her "photo shoot" took place that afternoon. Chris and I received a copy of the picture they selected in the mail several months ago (as well as the final, edited copy made with Photoshop) and I wanted to be sure to see it in real life. Sure enough, Emma's picture was hanging at the end of a long row of pictures in the therapy department and...of course she looked adorable! While on the tour, we even had a few hospital employees stop us and ask why Emma looked so familiar.

And to my surprise, Emma's job as a rep for CHKD continued. While we were touring the building, Emma's picture was requested again (for what, I'm not sure) so she was allowed to play in the ball pit - an "off-limits-to-the-public" part of the physical therapy department. Finally, as we were getting ready to leave, we ran into Joy who asked us if we'd be willing to be interviewed by a local TV station about our thoughts on the new facility. Emma is SUCH a rock star - please, please - no more press. She'll sign autographs when she learns to write! :)




Mommy, Angie, Emma, and Carrie - we LOVE her therapists!




Fun on the slide - check out that gleeful expression!




Lovin the therapy dog!




Our little supermodel

October

Emma and I spent the first week of October in Ohio with family and had a wonderful time. Mommy was able to enjoy a (kid-free!) girls lunch out, Emma spent nearly every day playing with her cousins and was doted on by all her grandparents. We were even able to attend a family birthday party and fall outing to a local farm, events we normally have to miss out on. It was a blessing to be home while daddy was away!

Daddy's boat pulled in on October 9th, and we waited at the pier anxiously for him to disembark. Many plans and helicopters were flying over the base while we waited and Emma kept pointing to each one saying, "plane!" or "airplane noise!" or "copter!" Planes are her newest obsession these days. She also would yell "Daddy!" at every man who walked past us wearing a flight suit. I had to keep telling her, "No no honey. That's not daddy." But finally, daddy arrived and our reunion was sweet, as usual.

On October 11th, Emma attended the 3rd birthday party of a little girl named Regina, daugher of some friends we knew in Anacortes. The party was held at a place called Kangaroo Jac's, a kid mecca full of inflatable bouncy toys, slides, tunnels, etc. Emma stunned Chris and I as well as many bystanders with her fearlessness. She wanted to play and was not afraid to try even the tallest slides. She's so little that she looked like a missle being launched out of a cannon, but would shriek with glee after flying down each slide. At this same party last year, she had just gotten out of the hospital, was still catching every little bug and sickness, and had lost a great deal of weight. She also was still 100% tube-fed and I marveled at how much has changed in a year as I watched her sit at the table and eat pizza with all the other kids. She's happiest being around big groups of people and thrives when around other kids.

Just yesterday (the 22nd), Emma and I waited for an hour and a half at the dealer while having our car worked on. She ran all over the waiting room, approaching each person (she particularly loves old men - "grandpas" as she calls them) and saying, "up! up!" She wanted everyone in the room to hold her, read her the books I'd brought, watch her dance, etc. I'm not sure when to start instiling stranger anxiety into her, but she charmed and entertained the entire room.

What is Emma like these days? She's amazing. She speaks in 2-3 word sentences and is quite easy to understand. She loves airplanes, books, and going to the park. She's always loved to swing, but the slides are slowly becoming her favorite...both climbing UP and going down. She loves our dog and cat and has even started calling the kitty "stinky rat" like we do. Every day when Chris gets home from work, she runs to the front door yelling, "Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!" She is discovering the joy of climbing and crawled up onto our higher-than-average couch unassisted for the first time yesterday. She is also DONE with crawling on the steps and is DETERMINED to walk up and down like a big girl (although still needs to hold onto something). She's full of life, loves people, and just this morning finally weighed in at over 20 pounds (20 lbs, 4.5 oz, to be exact). She is the joy of our lives.

Climbing UP the slide...one of Emma's favorite pastimes

Emma in the corn-filled covered wagon at Pigeon Roost Farm

Dinner with Mema and the cousins

Watching Dora before bedtime with Grandpa

Playing on the slide with cousin Elise

At Kangaroo Jac's - Emma was 0bsessed with driving the car

September

September was filled with a variety of small, but fun events. My parents visited during the last week of August and after seeing how much work was still left to finish on our house, my dad offered to stay and help. We were not about to say no.

Zack Tate, A friend of ours from Anacortes, spent his last 5 days before a 7-month deployment at our house. Because his family is still in Pensacola, FL and will remain there until he returns, Zack needed a place to crash during his last few days of freedom. He also helped with a few house projects. It was a real blessing to have so much help!

Our new windows finally arrived! After months and MONTHS of fighting with the window company (it's a LOOOOOOONG story), the windows that we ordered and paid for in June were finally installed. What a blessing to be able to open the windows and enjoy a breeze on nice days!

On September 11th, Emma returned to the feeding clinic for another weigh-in. This time, she'd only gained about half of what they were hoping for although she is still developing quite normally. Elaine told me that we could probably lose the feeding tube since it had been so long since we'd used it, but I said I would feel more comfortable with 1 more weigh-in. She gave me many ideas on how to add fat and calories to Emma's meals, and I have been faithfully following her instructions for fattening Emma up ever since. Our next appointment is November 19th and regardless of her gain, Chris and I feel quite comfortable moving forward with taking Emma's tube OUT OUT OUT. She is eating like a champ! We are done with that G tube!

Chris left for a month at sea on September 16th. I decided that it would be a perfect time for Emma and I to return to Ohio and take advantage of the waning time that we have to live within driving distance of our families. But before we could leave, we had to show up for Emma's appointment with CHKD's NICU follow-up clinic on September 25th, an appointment that we had to wait 6 months for. The appointment was nearly 2 hours long, but Emma passed all her developmental tests with flying colors! She even surprised me by doing a few things that I didn't think she could do! When the testing was over and the neonatologist came in to see her, he declared that she'd tested so well he didn't see a need for continued follow-up. We were officially discharged that afternoon, and Emma received a onesie and baseball cap as a little graduation present! Another incredible milestone for her and reason for Chris and I to praise God! We left for Ohio the next morning and Emma (and our dog) were angels during the looooong 12-hour drive.

Stay tuned for October...

Emma discovered mommy's old sunglasses.

She walked around the house saying, "Cool, cool." all morning!

Playing in the Children's Garden at the Norfolk Botanical Gardens

Our past 3 months...starting with August

Hello all! Has it really been 3 months since I've blogged? How in the world did that happen? My sincerest apologies. There's much to tell, but since I'm trying to avoid writing the world's longest blog entry, I've decided to fill y'all in via a series of shorter blogs. Pretend it's actually the month I'm blogging about and you'll be reading the blog entries I should have been writing all along...

August - two major events occurred that are worth blogging about. First, on August 14th, Emma's 18-month birthday, Emma "graduated" from the Virginia Beach Early Intervention program, the program that provided her with physical therapy services for the past 12 months. Although she had no idea what was going on, it was a really special day for Chris and I. The EI program holds a "graduation" ceremony each August for the kids who are being discharged and their families. This year's ceremony was held at 3:30PM at a church out near the oceanfront. The ladies who led the music at the EI-sponsored music classes led the kiddos in some silly songs and a few speakers spoke, doing a good job of keeping their comments brief since many members of the audience were under the age of 3. Afterwards, the mayor of Virginia Beach took a picture with each family and gave all the "graduates" a signed copy of "Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See?" When it was our turn to meet her, she chatted with Emma then turned to us and said, "You guys are doing a great job with her." It was really special. We said goodbye to Debbie, Emma's case worker, and a few other families we'd met along the way. Chris decided to take all of us out for Italian food to celebrate, and we finished the evening with some family time on the beach. It was the perfect end to a wonderful day and we were so happy for and proud of our little peanut.



Emma strolling along the beach with daddy




Mommy and Emma




My favorite picture of our family this year!


The second August event worth mentioning is that CHKD (Norfolk's Children's Hospital) invited our family to be a "featured" family in this December's radiothon. As a result, I was asked to come to a local radio station's studio on August 19th to make a recording of Emma's story that was a bit more in-depth than the 30 seconds were given during June's tel-a-thon. When I got up that morning, I knew it would be a big day. For me, shairng Emma's story is cathartic - I feel as though talking it through provides healing to my heart, little by little. Emma and I arrived at the radio station on time and met Joy, a member of CHKD's PR department, in the lobby. Eventually, the DJ came and introduced himself to me, telling me a bit more about the protocol for making the recording. He concluded by saying, "...and if you start to cry at any time, just go with it. It's not a problem. It brings some realness and emotion into the story for the listeners." My main focus was on trying to share the story in its entirety without being too wordy, yet without leaving out any relevant details. AND...if an opporutnity arose, I was hoping to say a few words about our faith and how we feel God has worked in Emma's life. People will let you say anything when you're sharing about a sick child, so I didn't want to miss an opportunity the Lord might be providing! It would not have gone better. As I was sharing, I felt distinctly as though my words were being blessed. The DJ was in awe of certain things that I shared and kept asking for more clarification. I managed to avoid crying until the very end, when I was reading a quote I found on a blog written by another mom whose daughter also had feeding issues. Nothing I've read more accurately describes what it's like to finally see your child begin to eat, and I cried when I read it. When I finished, the DJ was wiping his own tears away. Afterwards, Joy promised me that we would be given a copy of the final recording, and that it would be available to listen to online during the radiothon December 10th - 13th. When I find out more details, I will let all of you know how you can hear it for yourselves, if interested. Stay tuned!

And that's it for August!

Summer Va-ca

We just returned from a week-long vacation at the cottage in northern Ohio and we all had a FABULOUS time. Here are just a few pictures from a wonderful week of fun...



We enjoyed some Donato's, our favorite pizza in the whole world, on the way to the cottage.




Uncle Jeff, aka "the Pied Piper," reads Elmo to the nieces and nephew




Emma and daddy having a moment




Splashin' in the sink! Emma LOOOOOOOOVEs baths.




Daddy with his biggest catch of the week




Daddy and Emma playing in the pool




Emma and cousin Katie playing cars.

O Happy Day!

Have you ever felt so happy you thought you could cry? Have you ever experienced so much joy that you have absolutely no idea what to do with yourself? Joy that makes all emotional expressions (singing, shouting, dancing, crying, laughing, etc) seem too small? Like you can't pick just one but even the combo of them all just isn't expressive enough?

Today is a day like that for me.

This morning I took Emma to see Elaine, the pediatric nurse practitioner at the feeding clinic, for her quarterly checkup. The feeding clinic is part of the rehab program at CHKD (the local children's hospital) and is comprised of the rehab docs who supervise all of the therapists employed by the hospital - occupational, speech, and physical. Basically, kids with deficits in one or a combo of any of these areas requiring therapy are all funneled through the rehab clinic. The speech therapists in the feeding program are just one of many areas they oversee. Each time she visits the feeding clinic, Elaine watches Emma eat, asks me lots of questions, assesses her development, and performs a complete physical exam.

Emma's speech therapists pulled some strings and got her in to see Elaine last September, when her eating (or lack thereof) was at its worst and her reflux was at its peak. Since then, she has seen Elaine consistently every 3 months. Each time an appointment with Elaine looms on the horizon, I find myself increasingly nervous as the day approaches. In Emma's early days, fears not only that her development would be found "abnormal" but also that some other huge (and unforseen by me) problem would be discovered plagued me night and day. And if anyone would catch it, Elaine would. Completely professional, thorough, and extremely attentive to detail, Elaine's examinations are more complete than anyone else's. She has impressed (and frightened) me more than any other doctor Emma has seen simply because her assessment, in my mind, is the one that really matters. To me, Elaine's definition of "normal" - both in the amount of calories Emma should be eating as well as the amount of weight she should be gaining - has seemed like a near-impossible goal to achieve.

Turns out I was wrong.

She did it! She did it! Emma did it! Even though we've used the tube very sparingly over past 2 months, Emma has gained an appropriate amount of weight (approximately 7 grams a day - woo-hoo!). And her eating, which has gotten exponentially better since our last visit in April, really impressed Elaine. Not only does Emma eat a wide variety of table foods, she has mastered all the skills necessary to be a sucessful eater (tongue lateralization, anticipatory opening of the mouth, suck/swallow/breathe coordination and a littany of other technical skills I won't bore you with). Elaine was most impressed by our big girl and didn't even say a word about my not forcing Emma to drink Pediasure, a battle for which I was armed and ready to fight! And on top of all that, Emma passed her developmental exam with FLYING colors. She stacks blocks, puts things into containers, tries feeding herself with a spoon and walks around like it's her job. In every area but speech, Emma is now "normal" or "age-appropriate." Her speech, as I mentioned in an earlier post, was labeled "advanced." Emma speaks better than many 2-year-olds! Elaine actually called her the rehab program's "poster child" - MY child who a year ago screamed at the mere sight of a bottle filled with milk!

So what comes next? All that remains for Emma to lose her G tube is for her to demonstrate a good weight gain over the next 2-3 months without our having to resort to the tube for calories or hydration (our last "issue"). Therefore, Chris and I would really appreciate your prayers that Emma's willingness to drink more fluids would increase each day. While she is more than capable of downing a sippy cup full of milk, she's just not that into it. If Emma drinks 12 oz of anything in a day, she's having a VERY good day. Elaine told me that in the meantime, I should offer Emma as many "liquid" foods (pudding, yogurt, applesauce) as possible in an attempt to keep her hydrated without resorting to the tube. Emma's "proving time" begins today.

In the meantime, I think I'll go shout. Or jump up and down. Or cry like a baby, pretend that I'm a ballerina, bang on the piano, or sing Carrie Underwood's "So Small" at the top of my lungs. Oh - and DEFINITELY need to work on perfecting my happy dance. I'm pulling it out more and more these days!!!

Our new "family"

After the excitement of Chris' promotion on Wednesday, we thought we'd had a big day. But it was only half over. That evening around 6, Chris received a phone call from his detailer in Tennessee, the person who decides when and where he will be going next. We had already been informed that Chris had been selected to return to Whidbey Island as a squadron Department Head, but did not know when we would be moving or which squadron he would be joining. Chris' detailer told us Wednesday night that he was "penciled in" to join the Black Ravens of VAQ-135 and that we would be returning to our beloved northwest in January. Things now feel more "official" and we are so thrilled!


In addition to Chris' knowledge that he will be flying once more and my joy at knowing we will be returning to Anacortes, Chris had a few extra reasons to be excited about these orders. First, the Black Ravens deploy and serve aboard the USS Nimitz, a carrier that is based on the west coast. This means that he will be much more likely to have port calls in the far east (where he's never been) than in Europe (where he's already been multiple times). He was hoping for this. Second and most surprising, he discovered that the Black Ravens are one of the earliest squadrons to "transition" away from their current jet, the EA-6B Prowler, to the new EA-18G Growler. This transition will most likely be taking place while he is in the squadron and he is very happy about the prospect of getting some flight hours in this new jet. Although Chris did not specifically ask to join a squadron that would be transitioning, he'd always mentioned that it would be fun to fly the new jet, so I have been praying that God would send Chris to the best squadron for him. Finally, one of Chris' current bosses used to be a Black Raven, so he is looking forward to letting him know that he too will be joining the Ravens. We hope this new "family" will be a good fit for ours!


For more information:

VAQ-135: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/VAQ-135

EA-6B Prowler: http://www.fas.org/irp/program/collect/ea-6b_prowler.htm

EA-18G Growler: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/EA-18G_Growler




Goodbye Prowler.




Hello Growler!

A JO No More

Before the ceremony. The 2 silver bars on Chris' collar signify his rank of Lieutenant.

Today is another special day in the Lovelace household. Today Chris threw off the shackles of "junior-officerdom" and became an O-4 (known as a Lieutenant Commander). For those of you unfamiliar with our Navy world, allow me to clarify. In the Navy, authority is given and jobs are doled out according to rank. The lowest ranking officers are O-1 's (called Ensigns) and the highest ranking officer is an O-10 (Admiral - the Chief of Naval Operations). Junior officers are officers with the rank of O-1, O-2 and O-3 (called Ensign, Lieutenant jr. grade, and Lieutenant). For more information, check this out: www.defenselink.mil/specials/insignias/officers.html

Now, I'm no Navy expert, but here's what I understand to be true: Most people who are only serving their time because they had college paid for or who join the Navy and decide it's not for them get out as junior officers. I have been told that it is fairly easy to progress through the ranks of junior-officerdom meaning that unless you screw up and do something really stupid, you're going to get promoted from an Ensign to a Lieutenant jr. grade to a Lieutenant. You'd have to work pretty hard NOT to received these increases in rank.

Now here's the part where I do some shameless bragging and embarass my modest and wonderful husband. Becoming an O-4 (Lieutenant Commander) is the first rank promotion that is merit-based, a promotion given only to those who have earned it. Not everyone who hopes to become a LCDR is given this promotion. This means not only that Chris has done his job well thus far, but also that others have noticed. Becoming a Lieutenant Commander means Chris leaves the crazy fun fraternity of being a junior officer (JO) and actually gets to be called "sir" on occasion. It is an increase in rank, an increase in pay, and most importantly an increase in responsibility. And we couldn't be more proud of him.

So to celebrate, Emma and I got all dolled up this morning and met daddy for lunch at the Officer's Club on base. Afterwards, we went to his office where Emma entertained everyone (by toddling around the building yelling, "Going! Going! Going!") while we waited for the Admiral to return. Most of the people he works with gathered around to watch Chris and co-worker Rich get sworn in as Lieutenant Commanders. And I had the honor of pinning his new rank insignia on his uniform. It was a very exciting day and we praise God for blessing Chris's efforts at work!


The Admiral swears Chris in.



The Admiral and I pin on Chris's new rank while Emma looks a little drunk.



Admiral Cullom says a few words. Check out all those medals!



After the ceremony, Chris signs papers to make everything "official."



Congratulations for daddy while Emma flirts with the Admiral.



After the ceremony. The gold oak leaf on Chris' collar signifies his new rank of Lieutenant Commander.

A Bittersweet Goodbye

Physical therapist Wendy, Emma, and case worker Debbie

My heart feels very full today. This morning, we said goodbye to the Virginia Beach Early Intervention Program, the program through which Emma' s physical therapy services have been provided for the last 10 months. Emma's physical therapist Wendy and case worker Debbie came over at 9:15 to do one final "evaluation" to measure her progress and check her development. In a nutshell, Emma passed with flying colors. Gross motor skills? Approximately 18 months. Fine motor skills? Emma is age-appropriate. Self-help skills? Check. Language skills? Off the charts (24+ months). I told you all that she was a good talker! I wonder where she gets that from? Anyone who has ever listened to Chris or I tell a story will know that Emma is doomed to be verbose.

Saying goodbye to Wendy and Debbie feels very bittersweet to me. I have spent months waiting and hoping and praying that Emma would eventually become developmentally normal. I used to watch other moms with their kids and marvel at how easy things were for them, at how their kids picked up a million little skills and abilities so naturally that we have had to fight tooth and nail for. There were times when Emma's progress seemed so slow and her abilities so far behind her age that it seemed a fool's hope that she would ever catch up. But as the months of weekly therapy ticked by and Emma's abilities improved, her therapist began to feel like a friend. Wendy spent time in our home. She loved our daugher. She listened to me jabber on about nothing because I was so desperate for adult conversation. And she helped Emma grow and develop and learn. Now I have a developmentally age-appropriate baby but no therapist to talk to. Wait - was the therapy for me or for Emma? :)

So Emma graduated today. No more physical therapy. And my heart, which has felt so full and heavy and fearful this year, feels as though another weight has been lifted and I have one more thing to praise God for. And praise Him I did, seated at the piano with my daughter on my lap. God told us the day Emma was born that she was going to be fine. And she is. She really, really is. And we'll take it. Even if it means saying goodbye to a few friends we've made on the journey.

A Unique Connection

I just had the most interesting experience at Norfolk's MacArthur Center, the most ordinary of places. Nothing happened, really, but there are thoughts running through my mind as a result, and I thought they might be worth mentioning.

This morning, in my effort to get out of the house but not out of the air conditioning (can I get an amen?), I met 2 girlfriends at the mall for breakfast, coffee, and window shopping (OK I confess - I bought Emma some hair bows. I couldn't help myself). After all of the festivities, our kids appeared to be hungry, so we headed to the food court for lunch and then the play area for some pre-naptime activity. For many reasons, Emma has never been to a play area before. First, those are no fun unless you have a kid who walks. Second, I've been a TOTAL germophobe since last October, when she started getting sick at the drop of a hat. Now that cold and flu season is behind us, I decided to let her experience this all-American kid pastime. She LOVED it. She toddled around with all the big kids, an expression of glee and delight on her face. She crawled through the tunnel and tried to climb the ladybug. She walked in circles just because she could. I watched her excitement like a kid in a candy store, joyfully marveling at how "normal" she has become. And suddenly I noticed that Emma had made a friend. No sooner had she descended upon the play area did a 4-year-old boy named Ryan begin playing with her hair (in a nice way). He seemed very intrigued by the Cindy Lou Who ponytail coming straight out of the top of her head and was compelled to touch it. His parents (seated across the room) continually told him not to touch her head, but he was so interested in my little girl that he just couldn't help himself. He followed her through the tunnel, gently helped her walk to the ladybug, and just generally couldn't keep away from her. I finally had to intervene when Emma found the exit and tried repeatedly to escape into the food court. After many failed attempts at keeping her in the play area, I parked myself on the floor next to Ryan's mommy and daddy for closer observation. And we watched our two kids enjoy each other with glee. I kept wondering what would make a 4-year-old boy so interested in an almost 16-month-old girl. Suddenly, I noticed it. Ryan was wearing some sort of medical device (a pump maybe?) clipped to the side of his shorts. I mean, there were wires and tubes and all sorts of things. They were just all very small. Immediately, I thought, "Did he see Emma's G tube? Did that somehow make him feel a connection with her? Or did he just feel drawn to her for mysterious reasons that no one really can explain?" Either way, there was a definite connection. He loved her. She loved him. And they played. Together. And I sat on the floor with his mommy and daddy and enjoyed the view.

A few things went through my head. First, it kind of struck me how Emma is actually a little person - complete with thoughts, feelings, and gifts of her own. And her life will be used to impact others in big and small ways totally separate from Chris and I. Like this little 4-year-old boy. Emma's unique story was written by the God who made her and may make her able to relate to others that even Chris and I are unable to relate to, despite having walked down that road with her. Then I realized that that's all we did. WE walked alongside her. SHE lived it. It's HER story. And it's HER life for God to use to touch others, even a little boy with a medical pump who just might have loved her because she has a G tube. And as the magnitude of Emma's "personhood" hit me, I also became overwhelmed with the thought that this person was entrusted to me(to us really, but to me for purposes of this post). To love, to nurture, to protect, to discipline, and to raise, hopefully to love the God who loves her. And I suddenly became a little overwhelmed at high calling and responsibility of being a good steward of a person. I am used to considering stewardship of time, money, stuff, etc. but suddenly realized that I am also called to be a good steward of my daugher. Oh Lord, I am so inadequate. I have read books. I have talked to other moms. I have lived life. But really, truly, I have no idea what I'm doing. How could you have called ME to THIS?

But there is grace for me. A friend in Anacortes had a quote posted on her desk that said something like, "God will never call you to a place where his grace will not cover you." Grace to grow, to learn, to fail, and to improve as Emma's mommy. Grace to fall down, grace to get up, and grace to know that despite a million mistakes, Emma will still love me. There will be others to lead and to guide her, but only one she'll call "mommy." Oh I want to do this thing well. I am so thankful that there is grace to match the responsibility to which I have been called.

A Very Good Week

It's been a very good week in Lovelace-land. A very good week indeed!

1. Chris has had the entire week off of work. It's been wonderful to have him home all day long. We've worked on house projects, been to the zoo and the Norfolk Harborfest, and just enjoyed being around each other after 2 months apart.


Mommy and Emma by the fountains at the Virginia Zoo

2. We finished our "Extreme Makeover: Master Bedroom Edition" and it looks fabulous. We keep saying, "Wow! It looks like an adult sleeps here!" Goodbye mismatched college mish-mash. Hello new furniture, new paint, new pictures, and new bedding. Happy 5th anniversary to us!

Our beautiful new grown-up bedroom

3. Speaking of our 5th anniversary, Chris took me out on a real-live date to celebrate it last Thursday night. Definition of "real-live": HE planned it. HE picked the restaurant (456 Fish in downtown Norfolk), HE planned the evening (Prince Caspian at 9PM), HE took care of childcare. HE did it all. All I was was told was to be "dressy casual" ready at 6. I felt very loved. And lucky. I loved it.

4. Our wonderful friends the Jacobs are in town! My childhood best friend Sarah, packed up her entire crew (3 kiddos!) and drove to Norfolk this weekend to visit her husband who taking a 3-week class at the Norfolk Naval Base. Nathan came over for dinner on Wednesday, we all had lunch at Chili's on Saturday, and the entire Jacob clan came over for burgers tonight along with our dear friends the Tabors. It is SO wonderful to spend time with old, dear, familiar, comfortable friends and Emma enjoyed having friends over to play with. We actually saw her get a little more assertive than usual when one friend tried to steal her "Doggies" book. You go girl. Why don't we party like this more often?

Isabel Tabor, Emma Lovelace, and Elliana Jacob in awe of the latest Baby Einstein

5. Emma is eating like a rockstar. We are down to using her tube only for hydration purposes (as in, if she doesn't drink much water during the day). To go from having a kid who is 100% tube-fed to having a mostly normal eater is insane. In a good, blissfully wonderful way. It's night and day - like having a different kid. She has also decided that she is now old enough to feed herself. We think the percentage of food that actually reaches her mouth is very low, but it's a riot to watch. Baths are becoming a daily occurance in our home and for those of you who know me well...that's saying a lot.

Our messy girl particularly appreciates Spaghetti-O's.

6. Emma's hair is getting so long that I am now able to style her hair into many cute new dos. How in the world did we get a kid this cute? And...she sits patiently through her daily AM hairstyling. Mostly. Look closely at the "Baby Einstein" photo for a glimpse of a pigtail.

7. EMMA IS WALKING! It's true! She started taking her first steps during our time in Anacortes, much to the satisfaction of her many west coast admirers. The morning of daddy's homecoming, I caught her standing up all by her big girl self. Now she's all over the place. It is truly a miraculous thing to watch your child grow and change. Now that I'm not so afraid of her or worrying about the next medical disaster, I am REALLY beginning to enjoy her. She's so amazing. Is parenting really this much fun, or are we just extra-blessed?

8. Lastly, we are praising God for the good news we received on Friday. Chris was selected to be a "Department Head" in a Prowler squadron. This is the position we were desperately hoping and praying he would get as it will take us back to our beloved Anacortes. Although we don't know exactly when we will be moving, we are guessing it will most likely be sometime between February and May of 2009. We couldn't be more thrilled or thankful for the opportunity to head back "home." In addition, Chris is practically giddy about re-joining a squadron again. Not only will he be flying regularly once more, but the comraderie of a squadron can't be beat!

Homecoming and Telethon

Well, we made it home from Anacortes safely and Emma was an angel on the plane. I had even prayed for an empty seat next to me between Seattle and Cincinnati and lo and behold - there was one! It made ALL the difference in the trip. When we arrived home, we hit the ground running to get the house ready for daddy's homecoming! Yes, after 2 months at sea, daddy finally returned home last night. Although there were only a small number of people returning and there was not much accompanying fanfare, it was special for our family nonetheless. The only damper was that daddy decided NOT to shave his "cruisestache" before coming home so it was a little jarring to see him with some hair (OK a lot of hair) on his upper lip. Emma thought it was funny. Me...not so much.

This afternoon we all head to CHKD (Children's Hospital of the King's Daughers) to share Emma's story at their annual telethon. Although only our local news station carries it on TV, the telethon can be watched live online at http://www.wvec.com/. According to the informational letter we received in the mail, our family will be featured between 5 and 5:30PM eastern time. Whether it's for a few minutes or the entire half hour, we have no idea. But if you're interested, head to the website at that time and check us out!

Love and hugs,
Jen, Chris and Emma

Welcome!

It feels good.

I have been intending to start a blog for our family for quite some time now. Those of you who are well-acquainted with our family's story are probably familiar with the site we started when Emma was born in order to keep everyone updated on her health which was, at the time, not so good. Now that Emma is a bright, shiny, bouncy happy kiddo, I decided it was time to step away from the medical updates and move on to less dramatic and more ordinary things. Welcome to "Love-Laced Letters" - our attempt at keeping those inquiring minds out there satisfied with stories, pictures, and general updates about the craziness (and "ordinary-ness") that is our life. Welcome. We're glad you're here.

p.s. For those of you who are unfamiliar with and interested in Emma's story, you can find at:
caringbridge.org
site name = emmalovelace
password = emma0214