Panic. What do I do? Where's Chris? Oh noooooooo! Quick. Call Gail. She'll know what to do. Gail's response, "Ooooh. Gross. I don't know. Sorry. Good luck." Something like that. Darn. She didn't even offer to send HER husband over to deal with it and left me here all alone with a tick-infested dog in my house and germs and diseases running rampant and...OK Jen. Settle down.
I know! I'll call the vet! HE'LL have to deal with it tomorrow! I call the vet and leave a message. Done. Problem solved. HE can take it out. Good night Oslo.
OK no. This thing really should come out. Emma? Not a feasible solution. But I'm pregnant. What if I get a disease? That's what gloves are for Jen. (I really am having this coversation with myself. You think I'm kidding. I'm not.)
I return to our couch and stare at Oslo with intense dislike, WILLING the tick to come out and leave our home immediately. It's not working.
I do some research online. I find this: http://www.instructables.com/id/How-to-remove-a-tick/ I think, "How absurd. I'm NOT doing this." I continue to stare at my dog who is wondering why I keep shooting him dirty looks.
An hour passes and I begin to imagine Oslo dying a slow and painful death from paralysis or lyme disease or some other transmitted-by-tick disease while I sleep peacefully in my bed tonight. And I decide that I couldn't live with myself if I killed my own dog, so I sigh, throw on a pair of orange cleaning gloves, pray for the safety of our unborn child, and decide to give this slightly insane-sounding online tick-removal method a try.
My stomach churned. I had to keep stopping and giving myself pep talks. Oslo wanted to wiggle. The tick was stubborn, but I prevailed AND (drumroll please)...it came OUT!!! All by itself, just as the website promises it will if you give its slightly insane-sounding tick-removal method a try.
After the tick fell onto our carpeted floor, I responded by immediately shoving Oslo out of the way and jumping back about ten feet to search for its whereabouts. No luck. I (harshly) banish Oslo to his bed, pull out the vaccum, and proceed to vaccum my entire family room three times. Overkill? I think not. Have you ever had a tick loose in YOUR house?
It was only after returning our vaccum to its rightful spot in the front hallway closet and staring at my dog (with only slightly less nausea) that I realized what I'd done. I removed a tick. From my dog. On my own. Without Chris, Gail (or her husband), the vet, or the medical team of experts I'd tried to conjure into existence in my living room. Me. I did it. I am woman. Hear me roar.
Who knew one little tick could have such a life-changing impact on one's self-esteem?
A tick-free but slightly confused Oslo just before receiving permission to vacate his bed
2 comments:
Hi Jen- I've been following your blog for a little while now and just had to comment- I LOATHE TICKS!! I found one once on the wall in our bathroom by the pile of towels our dog likes to lay in and had to will myself not to throw all our towels in the trash. Bravo to you for your heroic deed ;)
Also- praying for Emma and her upcoming surgery. Drop me an email sometime- maybe we can get together next time your in the great state of Ohio nicolemyers76@hotmail.com
Nicole (Gray) Myers
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